Jesup, part the tenth

the road home longer than the road there it's as if home had heard they were coming and had slipped over into the next valley

perhaps donned a pair of fake glasses nose and mustache maybe dyed its hair changed it up a little

who knows every day ron ain't there it just don't seem to care it just keeps on keeping on

and about half way home maybe half way away from home billy and his buddy bobby come up from the opposite direction headed right towards ron and steve and anne and sally going back towards savannah away from jesup about half way home at first they're just a glint of sunday afternoon sunshine a sparkle coming over the horizon then they're a distant dream a cobwebbed memory a chrome grill grinning cheshire cat style wiggling winding just a bit even though it's a long straight road connecting two points of nowhere every now and then the wiggle goes too far the back tires squiggle off the blacktop onto the soft shoulder throwing up a cloud of dust

puffalo soldier

spinning in control steve he sits back way back in the bucket seat arms extended long and skinny all the way to the steering wheel eyes forward focused on the task at hand in some post fungal intensity that seems to have evaded miz annie who sleeps in the passenger bucket laid back head to one side a long thread of drool escaping from the corner of her mouth leaving a trail on her cheek as gravity claims it dripping down onto her tank topped breast one leg foot out the open window her loose wrap around hippie skirt fallen down up past her thigh to her crotch exposing pale yellow cotton panties just a touch of seventies bush some fringe garden peeking out from the edges

billy and bobby come speeding up horns a'blarin' arms a'wavin' passes them gets a few hundred yards down the road turns around in a sidewinding fishtail off the soft shoulder speeds back towards them eventually pulls up alongside them pulling up from almost out of nowhere a redheaded billy grinning from behind the steering wheel looking across and out the window looking out through the windshield back and forth like he couldn't make up his mind a shirtless bobby leaning out the passenger window his long blonde curls flapping in the wind catching mosquitos and love bugs and all manner of flying creatures bobby leaning across the divide leaning out of the car over

the double yellow line

right arm extended a lit joint in his hand motioning for steve to take it steve inching the car left the dull reflection of the sun hitting the glass of an oncoming car maybe a half mile away steve reaching out thumb to forefinger open and close like he was some stoned operator of one of those concessions at the county fair plop in a couple of quarters twirl the knobs this way that way the little crane enclosed in the glass box it jerks this way that way up down the cars they move this way that way in out steve carefully grasping the joint bobby falling sliding jumping back into his seat steve braking a bit slowing down billy zipping on around back into his proper lane the oncoming car horn blasting screaming

a long white middle finger connected to an arm extending stretching to the heavens billy and buddy bobby slowing their car a ragged excuse of a seventy two malibu run nearly to its grave pulling off the road letting steve and the cuda gang go by before whipping a u-turn and heading after bird man shirtless bobby back out the window both arms raised middle fingers extended from each he screaming a loud rebel yell

steve passes the joint back over his inside shoulder to ron exhales out the window

Jesup, part the ninth

and that first week the same parties out in the same break in the woods maybe down by the bend in the river after work after dinner the same friends the same stories the same shit

some places time it just stands still

and that weekend they headed over toward a little bit of someplace not far this side of savannah just south of there off in some big old field to pitch a tent under the moon at the edge of some big piney wood spend a couple of days listening to some pickin' and grinnin' kicking up the dust all barefoot and shirtless maybe wear his straw cowboy farmer's hat he and sally they hopped into his buddy stevie's white barracuda along with miz annie green

packed stuffed into the cuda with tents and sleeping bags and a cooler full of beer and a bottle maybe two of wild turkey and a bag of lemons from the tree in miz annie green's back yard

and copious amounts of marijuana a bag of athens dick weed and some thai sticks ron had brought home from atlanta a bag of gainesville green miz annie had brought home from her year at the university of florida she the turncoat she who even in the company of true believers sported her gator orange

and the first ten miles of the ride it rained that late south georgia afternoon rain rained for ten miles and then they drove another ten miles as the bastard sun still high in the sky expressing his disdain upon the land as the sun sucked the steam up from the rain slicked tar and gravel back roads

as if god himself were chasing the dragon inhaling the sliding steaming sweat of the earth's cunt and her offspring offered up on an asphalt runner suckled up through some celestial straw zeus flicking his bic big plastic rainbow colors lighting up his crack pipe creation

grumpily mumbling

ah noah we need to renegotiate

and they drove through that south georgia summer afternoon rain shower and they turned off the tar and gravel road onto a dirt road rain clotted dust chunks flying behind them a dirt road that followed the field pine trees to the right cow field to the left followed the dirt road on around the little patch of woods where the field doglegged on around pulled the car over under an old pecan tree sitting on the edge of the field

ding dong cling clang dingle dang

the sweet clear ringing bells draped upon their bovine necks their tones so sweetly calling oh come to the church in the dell just a back wooded side of a small cow field that steve and ron had discovered in their explorations these mushroom hunters these kit carsons of fungus they explored they farmed they were gatherers

oh the way those magic fungi just sprung forward so soon after the rain pushing through piles of cow shit popping up in just such short order crying out for them to claim their magic consume their powers it was indeed a castaneda moment

and with practiced precision the four leapt out of the car each with a paper bag in hand over the middle strand under the upper strand of barbed wire that separated the those from the them a hit and run mission they fanned quickly across the field stopping at each prominent and steaming pile of cow shit bending over taking a quick glance ignoring the stringy white capped spaghetti looking fungus searching for that stumpy curved top with the purple edges

almost expecting the cheshire cat to be lounging atop hookah hose to lips

and upon finding it that mystical special it that nonchalant flip of the coin that sitting in the meadow daisy in hand plucking petals she loves me she loves me not who knows will this be the special one that shares its love tonight

bending over reaching just above the shit surface giving it a short sharp but loving tap and a thump leaving her with a shudder and shake birthing little truffle tripping babies dropping her spores for tomorrow's rain tomorrow's psychedelic scout harvesting the daily dose

they picked their self-determined allotted quota never picked more than they could personally consume code of honor among shroomers they picked their quota proceeded on down toward savannah a couple of journey joints a couple of beers to tide them over the cuda roared down the back road

on their way to be reborn

happy

on their way to rejoicing and singing his praises for jesus is near them and there he will stay yes yes they're happily on their way pulled into the campsite before dark pitched a couple of small tents in a site beneath a large pine tree right in between an old couple with one of those fancy camper trailers and a hippie couple with sleeping bags rolled out in the back of a sixty-three chevy sidestepper

needed a paint job little bit of rust running alongside the wheel wells

they listened to music that whole night the whole night long watched them play on stage they danced stomped in the dust until midnight then hung out til three four in the morning sitting around various campfires wandering through the camp talking to those they knew those they recognized but couldn't remember and those they had no fucking clue about hippies rednecks church-goers students farmers truckers a few navy boys up from kings bay steve and annie ron and sally

they wandered they laughed they shared stories they listened to tales of bragging and woe

later that night maybe it was morning in the tent ron loosened her halter top and ron loosened her shorts and ron picked her banjo while the fiddles moaned outside til dawn when

they all went skinny dipping in the river big rope swing hanging from a big live oak out over the river rednecks with farmer's tans hippie chicks with big flopping tits swinging out in the dull coastal sun screaming swinging dropping into the black water scaring the hell out of catfish and gators and moccasins and gar alike

late afternoon fire going boiling down the mushrooms truck camping couple wandered over they shared smoked a joint or three or four they all peered into the skanky solution they strained out the shriveled mushroom bodies

forgive them father they know not what they do

and ron dumped in a package of pre-sweetened grape kool aide didn't help much but choking that shit down without some sort of sugary somethin' somethin' gagged their gut stained their souls they poured off six equal parts let it cool just a bit held their nose gulp gulp gulp about ten minutes later ron walked back to one side of the magnolia sally went to the other

they puked smiled kissed each other on the cheek fetched a beer wandered the camp

steve and miz annie went off with the hippie couple for a while ron and sally wandered around walked down to the river walked up to the stage the front porch string band they played a corinna corinna that melted ron's soul melted his fingers and eyeballs they moved in a funky chicken meets hoedown wiggle squiggle ron getting giggles from the crowd sally getting those whistling stares her cute little country mary ann titties jiggling braless beneath that grass and clay stained shirt tied up in a knot above her belly button bejeweled with

a little black daub of mud

and they slow danced to a lonesome ballad of the conquered of love and love lost of outsiders coming down from a far away land and taking what was not theirs and ron held sally held her rocked her listened to her fears listened to her heart listened to god strumming the fine hairs on the back of her neck

the bands left the stage they dispersed throughout the camp ron and sally along with them they found an old fiddle player keeping time with a young guitar player they found an unbroken circle they played with their fire their fire played with them and ron and sally walked the camp walked the woods they walked the river

they walked through jerusalem just like john

walked through this home that was no longer home the trees at the edge of camp murmuring above the rustling of the leaves stirring in the early morning coastal breeze murmuring suggestive promises and threats

coyote tiptoeing tauntingly from behind the bush teeth bared hissing

what are you doing back boy why didn't you keep on going you caught that train why'd you get off

and sally held his hand led him through the wilderness of campfires and banjoes and drunken braggadocio and accusations and murmurings of love of lost lost of love found led him over behind a pile of felled logs where he could unzip and unleash a long overdue piss the violence of his stream spraying splattering against the trunk spattering down onto his ankles creating giving birth to tiny yellowish mud gobs each hanging on to a leg hair desperately clinging  a thousand little smiley faces staring up at him from within the shadows with teeny weeny glowing eyes

twinkling in the predawn

little fangs bared

and then washed away with the walk back across a grassy meadow thick with the not yet morning dew grasshoppers with wings so wet they can't lift them to fly away mosquitos swarming for their morning meal

doubt retreated into just another wearied end of the road amusement a sigh of relief a questioning shake of the head a nodding acknowledgement to the god of sleep the bus slowed to a halt he stumbled down the steps made his way back into the light

the sun came up and it was sunday morning

no time to sleep ain't got no time to quit goddamn don't they know it's time for sunday morning gospel music

sunday morning

walking through jerusalem just like john

and the sun came up and it was a bluegrass sunday morning reserved for god and singing his praises starting with sunday morning vespers with the ringing of the church bells a glorious announcement to the day they're ringing for them all and they all gather round the alter that is the stage under the little grove of wind break poplar and they pray that their souls be free they all turn to each other they say hey

they ask one another

and how are you on this fine day within the confines of this fine church on this fine sunday morning

they kicked back on that fine sunday morning ron and sally she leaning back against him in his arms he leaning back against a tree they held each other while the singers sang the fiddlers fiddled the banjo players picked sally ran her finger along the tattoo on his forearm his tattoo a dark dark silhouette of a blackbird perched upon a sharp bowie knife a black heart plunged stuck upon its tip letting go bloody black drops onto a stained blackened banner emboldened with the stars and stripes of these here united states of america

punkabilly bluegrass gospel with a hint of last night's mushroom

they ron and sally they the filthy earth children campground dirt caked campfire soot smudged on their bare feet on their ankles and legs dirt beneath their fingernails they sang all sorts of people gathered around them they all sang they sang ballads and hymns they sang in drunken fungal baked hungover harmony they slapped spoons they clapped they yee hawed they yahoo'd they got up kicked up some dust singing his praises

and they steve and annie green wandered over they said hey ron and sally they said hey

and miz annie swayed back and forth with her hands over her head palms open fingers splayed

and they loaded their things back into the barracuda and they made the slow drive home to jesup

ron and sally snuggled into the back seat him sitting back in the corner behind the driver's seat she spread across what little was left of the back her head on his lap her dirty bare feet toes wiggling out the window

Jesup, part the eighth

and the dull gold electra two twenty five white vinyl top with a little rust showing down around the back window a little more over there right beneath the driver side door the deuce and a quarter pulled into a parking spot across the street the door opening with a squealing creak that leapt over to ron and his mom with a familiar splat followed by a long squeaky pull

kind of like a frog tongue suddenly smacking a fly across the lily pad then taking its time

reeling it in

the long low scream of the fly beneath the breeze fading fading to nothing as it approaches the waiting amphibian gulp

ron's daddy's cowboy boots stepping out one at a time boots covered by crinkled khakis going all the way up mister johnson's granddaddy longlegs hanging on to his skinny frame by a wide rawhide threaded leather belt gripping a big buckle image of a fanged fat faced drooling ugga the georgia bulldog the apostle of all that is good in the state that he serves at the pleasure of vince dooley his lord and master who will sit at the right hand of god hisself when his time comes due vince dooley of whom it is said that every win that has come during his reign is due to this special direct relationship any possible loss is the fault of satanic intervention at a magnitude against which even god's apostle has difficulty defending

ron's daddy mister johnson he looks both ways less as a matter of courtesy than out of necessity he spits he crosses the street with lanky rubber band man steps he tightens the knot of his skinny tie as he hops up the stairs kisses ron's momma on the cheek lightly but with a generosity not lost on ron he sees her eyes they sparkle just a bit through the worry he ron's dad he looks at ron he looks at ron's momma he looks back at ron he says hey now you ready to go in get this thing over with ron he nods he's still looking out across the lawn they each look out over the lawn mister johnson ron johnson's momma ron johnson they all look out over the lawn mister johnson

he says well

and they turn and walk on into the courthouse the heavy door opening inward a slit of light expanding into a framed gentle beam the ghosts of a thousand souls float and twinkle in the sudden brightness sparkling dust caught dancing in the lightest of drafts a giggling gaggle of mischievous faeries frozen fiercely en flagrante and the door closes and the elven magic disappears fades into the cruel dank coolness that is this heartless objectivity of the law

walking down the corridor to visit with saint peter himself perched up on his barstool hunched over his scrivener's desk his beard tinged on the edges with splotches of blue black ink dripped shaken splattered a bottle of bourbon cork removed sitting half empty next to the thick large ledger from which he manages the fates of all those who enter who approach who come crawling in on fraying threads of hope never mind that he is

a love supreme

he is old he may forget to forgive us this day our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us

and months before this musty courthouse stroll before the band began its august sonata the spring it would come and bring its showers and flowers and humidity and heat and memories and moonshine and love and lust and it would bring in the month of june

that month of hope that month of beginnings and endings of weddings and funerals

and ron he would travel south from the big city he would cross the line he would make his way across the creek that defined the here from the there he would broach the divide of yesterday and tomorrow of forgiveness and damnation

and ron would come home at the end of spring quarter beginning of summer break he had a job lined up he was going to work with his friend bobby over at bobby's daddy's store the jesup feed and seed

and ron would come home and bring all his belongings clean out his dorm room stuff everything he could fit into the big old trunk an army footlocker his old man had bought him at the local surplus store

and ron would come home with his belongings which besides his clothes included only a desk lamp his stereo his album collection his portable typewriter his rolled up skynrd posters his three bongs small medium and large the large one hidden in wrapped up in his sleeping bag and the other two in his back pack

and ron would come home with his belongings including his clothes two pairs of jeans two pairs of cut offs a bathing suit his momma had bought him but that he had never worn one steal your face and an assortment of punk rock emblazoned tee shirts acquired at various concerts during the year his blue jean jacket and his ten pairs each of permanently penned and john hancocked underwear tee shirts and white calf high socks

and ron would come home to jesup for the summer home again home again jiggety jig jiggety jig indeed returning to town in the backseat of the johnson family station wagon his mom and dad up front mister johnson leaning forward left ear over the steering wheel trying to detect some click some clack some serious sound seemingly hailing from beneath the dash from the front of the car but ron could hear the same burping growl coming from behind him where he knew the faux wood panel peeled from the rear door in long thin strips curling away from the muffler's gradually blackening exhaust as it parrumphed and harrumphed

belched and blew

ron johnson had returned to jesup trumpets blaring

Jesup, part the seventh

ron he'd come driving over late in the evening he'd find sally about to leave her friends those friends of sally that ron didn't really know jesup being small but rather cliquish and set in its ways

and sally

she would be about to leave

this crowd her friends

she'd hop in the truck his truck they'd drive off sometimes to the river sometimes they'd go to her house if perhaps her parents were off away for the day or if only for a few hours out of town down at the lakehouse

her house her home a big rambling two story with a wrap around porch set in the middle of what used to be an old pecan grove

they'd run up the wide staircase to her room her room all the way upstairs in the converted attic with the peaked ceilings and dormers providing pockets and nooks and crannies for the day's heat to settle and simmer and their clothes would be off before they hit the last step and they would fall upon her bed together arms around each other grabbing at each other and they would fuck long and giggling loud and they would have at it with wild wiggling abandon crazy old fashioned teenage fucking rolling around on the white cotton sheets swimming through the clouds of humidity sweat pouring from bodies all a'blur stirring sweat and semen and spit and venom and juices of all sorts into a frothy attempt

to find the love

that should have been that was supposed to have been

that could have been

Jesup, parth the sixth

and the next day he was in the back seat of the family station wagon his stereo a trunk and a couple of suitcases in the back

off to atlanta on his way to the new world his new world where he would find his path

off to spend a year in school

where his keseyesque dreams of freedom and love and peaceful coexistence picked up from random library visits where he accidentally picked up the electric kool aid acid test because the title sounded kind of hip and different from well-intended and idealistic teachers from his weekly viewing of love american style all of these dreams would slam into the fucking late seventies all about me i'm ok you're ok graduates of the covenant yes the promise that they had made to ron and his kin back in the sixties when they were listening when they believed the hippies when the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply when they said they were going to change the world age of aquarius there's gonna be a revolution power to the people right on then

they the hippies they these revolutionaries

they got tired of fighting the world they just became the world broke the covenant nineteen seventy seven they had broken their promise and ron johnson on his way to atlanta to go to college

spend the school year in atlanta

where he tried to love the dead but some new found cynicism would get beneath his skin seep into his blood he tried to love the dead but he had been exposed infected invisible spores of anthraxian doubt permeated his miracle his suspicious heart fell in with the pistols and the clash and the stooges and he got a tattoo and

it was harsh and

it was daring but

he still managed to find sally's name in his darkness

and then jesus hell he got left behind after ron's first taste of crystal clear liquid love dripped dropped beneath the tongue just a little dabba do ya plop plop fizz fizz oh what a relief it is hop on the bus tune in turn on jesus hell he wasn't so much left behind as he simply joined the card game like any other schmuck and

ron would accuse the hippies of treasonous high crimes and

ron would find hope in on the road redemption in naked lunch resurrection in gravity's rainbow and forgiveness in basketball diaries

his president his fellow georgian he held lust in his heart for fuck's sake ron he held his lust gripped in his hand

strong like bull

and ron would flirt with the college girls at the dorm parties down at everybody's pizza where they would guzzle beers and play quarters and wales tales and sneak drunken winks and tickled toes and invitations to go join her outside to share a joint next morning find himself sneaking out of alabama hall

sometimes with his momma monogrammed underwear in hand

sometimes with hers

but that had happened only a couple of times maybe four or five some vicious drunken rutting in the stalls

love maybe it was stronger

he'd go back to jesup on some weekends before thanksgiving and then during the winter it became harder to break away and then springtime in atlanta oh sugar oh baby ain't nothing like springtime in atlanta when the dogwoods bloom and the robins sing and the dew settles back on the green green grass in the late evening and

the coeds unveil in lullwater park

but he'd still make it home every now and then he'd still make it home and he and sally they'd get together

he'd find his way home every now and then he'd make his way back to jesup something about it had a hold on him he'd end classes on friday something would tug at him sort of like the feeling to light up a cigarette nobody told him he had to nobody told him he needed to he'd just walk off campus to where he parked his old truck open the door turn the key and head on home sometimes not telling anyone he'd just show up in jesup his momma wouldn't know his daddy wouldn't know his friends he would find the crowd wasn't that difficult not like there were a lot of place to go his friend they'd go hey ron like of course he was supposed to be there like it was

just another friday night

and he'd end up hanging with his friends doing the shit that he and his friends did and toward the end of the night when things would wind down he'd go find her he'd find sally and they'd get together

and they'd fuck

they would make out and they would touch each other and they would pinch and tickle each other and kiss and bite and nibble and giggle

and they would fuck

sometimes they would fuck in his truck parked down by the river out through the woods back in that little clearing where one night when it was raining and they couldn't get into the back when they stayed in the cab and the steam from the outside and the steam from the inside caused the metal roof to sweat and drip and in the dusky dawn of the dashboard light scramble her sandled foot had knocked off the rear view mirror and where she'd bumped her head on the steering wheel and raised a whelp so big next day she had to brush her hair back into an off kilter pony tail claim to her mother that it was fashion

during these times these weekends these holidays they didn't talk much at all they hardly ever spoke had no time for conversation the notion of the spoken word of language lost to the nuance of whimper and moan there was no room for any such see spot run

ron he'd come driving over after having been hanging with his friends where he'd been drinking and smoking and bragging and cussing and spitting and doing the same things that they had always done that those that had come before them had done thy kingdom come thy will be done

sometimes guns would be involved if maybe one of them pulled out a q-beam and started spotting varmints their beady little eyes glowing out from the woods maybe a opossum maybe a raccoon maybe an armadillo someone would have a pistol someone would have a twenty-two rifle or a thirty thirty taken from the rack of their truck someone would have a shotgun there'd be a cacophony a staccato of shots followed by the cannon like blast of the twelve-gauge overkill a haze of blue smoke hanging in the darkness the sharp sulfur stinging

the eyes would disappear

dead or alive into the peaty distance they never knew they never cared on earth as it is in heaven

sometimes there'd be fights crazy clumsy swinging stumbling bloody fights if quaaludes had been consumed and quaaludes were often consumed so there were a lot of fights a little vitamin q coupled with a few beers combined with a natural ornery tendency to say what one thought at any given time with an especially blunt drunken honesty drowned in self-important judgement of one's sister one's girlfriend one's momma and grandmomma

hey i like your black loafers speaking of black loafers how's your old man

ah geeze

sorry man that was a dirty crack shit speaking of dirty cracks how's your old lady

and a punch would be thrown and another and a circle would form and a nose would be bloodied and an eye would go red to black and blue and they would knock the shit out of each other knock each other into a pulpy mess of methaqualone mystery oblivious and numb to the pain confused by the blood streaming into their eyes by the gap formed from a suddenly missing tooth by the mask of spun sugar threads wrapping around their minds with a seven fourteen blanket

pummeling

pummeling

with bloodied knuckles that would swell to bursting the next morning

pummeling each other amidst cheers jeers and beers until one would fall into the arms of his mate collapse into an exhausted embrace then someone would step out from the circle and he would nobly say in that good old boy meets john wayne the peacemaker voice he would say oh kay boys let's break it up before someone gets really hurt

and they would all laugh except the one on the receiving end of the ass kicking he'd be glowering staring at the crowd with that fucking stink eye muttering oaths of revenge

he is a just god he is a vengeful god

but most of the times they'd just tell lies and half truths about fishing and fucking mostly about fucking the who the when the how many times the did she swallow and yeah every now and then yeah

on occasion

sometimes

an honest emotion or fear would float around

like when the subject came around to vance he'd died last summer he'd died last summer in a fucked up way he got really drunk he had a fast car big yellow chevelle with black stripes big tires

wheels that said i'll fuck you leaning over a pine log stretched out in the middle of the meadow in a rainstorm

vance in his yellow chevelle screaming down the road the road curved left yance forgot to follow fucking big ass oak tree defining the bend absorbing the car caressing the chrome crushing the cranium

a bodily trauma on a grand scale

ron's friend billy he says yeah i hear they found his tongue bit clear off found it stuck up on the tree

then they'd be quiet for a while not silent but quiet a quiet sigh exhaled a quiet gaseous burp swallowed a quiet glance around

then

those that went away would talk about how they missed the place but can't see coming back those that stayed behind just not understanding what it was that anyone needed to do anyplace not getting why anyone needed to go outside of jesup georgia

and a couple or three or four that had gone away to the university in athens where their daddies had gone before them their daddies already being the town lawyer the town doctor the town pharmacist they planning to return to step into their daddies' shoes they not really saying much they usually being one of the over-luded prize fighters oft times the muttering one sitting apart from the crowd licking his wounds

Jesup, part the fifth

goddamn he missed sally she a year younger she going through her senior year of high school while he had entered the world leaving her behind

that last night on the court house lawn a sunday night the moon dull the stars covered by a thin layer of clouds late enough so that most of the street lights had extinguished their hissing candescence late enough that the mosquitoes had long since retired back to the swamp to fuck breed procreate repopulate on the murky waters late enough that the occasional heat lightening would light up the outside of the courthouse with some time elapsed strobe light beckoning the beginning of a black and white horror movie on tee vee in the early early morning the sound turned all the way down

they had walked along the sidewalk hand in hand the soft pre-dew grass beckoning to them from beneath the shadows of the magnolia they glancing left right behind scurrying across the lawn behind the tree at first leaning against the smooth bark ron pressed up against sally kissing her a sailor about to ship out she promising to wait he promising to write both promising anything that would provide the excuse to move to the next base

ron's hand up and under her tee shirt her small pert breasts wanting needing no bra ron's hands lifting the soft cotton skirt sliding slipping down into the soft cotton panties her legs spreading bowlegged she going onto her tippy toes opening up providing succor to the lost the desperate

both of them sliding sliding she scraping her back on the bark as she slipped down onto her ass ron onto his knees their lips never parting she pulling at the buttons on his shirt

mumbling whispers of encouragement cracker love songs beneath the magnolia ron softly proclaiming her beauty as she unveiled it her flat stomach a swirling portico of welcome he expressing his admiration of each nipple as his tongue darted back and forth

slowing down as his lips approached her soft tanned throat taking a moment touching her vulnerability his fingers softly about the only innocence she had left the lightest of touches a tear drops from his dope reddened eyes her eyes give way to a momentary note of surprise of concern before he murmurs his love

Jesup, part the fourth

friday night end of school hanging yeah just hanging around chugging a couple of beers toking on a joint or two

he had met up with sally

where she would slide right up next to him hop up into his truck slip across the bench seat her tanned thigh touching his she'd cause him to have that same nervous shiver oh how he fumbled how he knows he'd still be fumbling if he could

his grin that night a drunken stoned ear to ear wide and toothy and full of expectation and hope

sweet sally oh such sweetness she the honey in his tea long straight hair not blonde not brown depending on the seasons seasoned by the sun such curves oh so hot not by the way she looks but how she carries her look

this south georgia hippie chick sometimes in her peasant blouse and cut off jeans sometimes in a soft tee and a wispy skirt sometimes in her overhauls and tube top the buttons open on one side the top strap longer on the other giving an admirer just that briefest glimpse of sugary seventies small tit cleavage soft and inviting

carries that look around most of the times barefoot dainty white angel feet those little piggies always out going to the market scurrying about the dry dusty ground happy as can be happy as someone could ever be

ron he wonders how it's possible that he could be so happy around that cute little bottle of bubble up ron he wonders if he'll ever feel that way again god how it might feel to be that happy all the time god how it might be not to know the sadness of her missing from his side from within his arms

the loneliness of a long atlanta winter in the dorms with all these boys from parts unknown to him these boys who just don't understand

what a boy has to do to become a man

all these boys from new york and new jersey and miami and cleveland driving their daddy bought cars wearing their momma bought clothes so easy to come upon such things that just show up not even on their birthdays not even on christmas these boys their mommas don't even bother to use the permanent marker to write their names on their underwear making sure when they go off to school with ten pair of drawers they come home with ten pair of drawers

these boys whose mommas probably brought them breakfast in bed every morning interrupting their weak masturbatory efforts around tucked away playboys and penthouses whose mommas wiped their ass with extra soft tissue right up to the day they left for college

he could tell by the way they walked from the bathroom down the dorm hallway kind of pigeon toed to keep their asscheeks from rubbing

these boys who never did understand who could never know in their bones the tragedy the hole left in their hearts lynrd skynrd ceased to be ronnie van zandt and his plane falling from the sky into those fiery woods the unused tickets from the concert that was never to be pinned up on the cork board above his desk that saddest of sad

last autumn

ron's first fall away from sally his first quarter away at school

that morning before classes after a night of the usual beers and bongs the news came across the radio a little matter of fact announcement a little interruption on ninety six rock dubya kay ell ess atlanta it had sliced him like a paper cut deep and sudden and painless until he saw the trickle of blood him standing there in the middle of the room his towel wrapped round his waist drops of water beading up on his shoulders dripping from his hair he saw the blood that unexplained loss

he remembers assorted words

skynrd

private plane

mississippi

crash

fire

van zandt dead

rossington collins barely alive

hoss sitting on the edge of the bunk his head in his hands looking up at him

they didn't speak they couldn't speak hoss he took budweisers out of the mini fridge popped the tops ron he loaded the gatlin bong they stacked all five skynrd albums on the turntable even the brand new street survivors hoss had just picked it up the day before they'd be talking about the prophecy for weeks that endless leisure time called youth the frivolity of philosophy the time and will to grieve they played them all the way through flipped them over played them through again over and over

lather rinse repeat

until a day later after having sat their southern shiva unshaven stoned and drunk they arose from the dead and ascended into the hallways to find the puzzled stares of those others in the dorm this dorm populated with exiles nay interlopers from new york new jersey miami cleveland ron and hoss outsiders in their own state

these trespassers could not gather the depth of their loss ron and hoss made no attempt to explain hell a simple man he don't need them around anyhow ron and hoss

american by birth southern by the grace of god

goddamn

these pussies who listened to those faggots billy joel and paul simon repackaged lounge lizards whose mommas also probably most likely wiped their asses as well

how could they understand when ron and hoss could barely grok the shifting of the winds how could any of them know that the old freak who parked himself daily on the uptown corner right there where ponce meets peachtree like out of some comic strip an old hippie an old man holding the sign declaring the end of world how could he have known such truths

such prescience frightened and humbled ron johnson

they these guys don't even know didn't understand that ron and hoss could give a shit about flight kay ay el double oh seven about the fucking war in ethiopia about israel and egypt about israel and lebanon these guys who couldn't understand what ron and hoss knew aw hell that israel invading lebanon mattered about as much as karl wallenda taking that last and fatal fall from the high wires shit happens you buy the ticket you take the ride you build a house out there in the desert some strong wind gonna come down blow you around