goddamn goddamn
tick fucking tock
long breath drawn between pursed lips puckered lips
slow deliberate controlled
one two three
one two three
one two three
one two
one
tick fucking tock
it's two fucking thirty in the morning
i'm wackenroid awake and I can see the cracks in my face showing through the silhouette sliding across the wall not unlike the rat eluding
riki tiki tavi
i can count the cracks
but get caught on three get stuck on three
one two three
one two three
one two three
one two
one
tick fucking tock
i know it's a drug driven manic state of mind that is keeping me out here on my tippy toes on the curb six inches above the road might as well be six feet sixty feet i might even have sixty feet and three hundred toes
goddamn my skin it do crawl
fire ants crawling all over biting my balls nipping my neck ripping my throat
creepy crawly wiggle waggle aluminum foil on the molars oh momma open up a window i can’t breathe don’t you know momma told me not to come
a drug driven manic state of mind that is my own personal combo meal nails screeching down the blackboard with a healthy helping of hellacious heat on
creativity real or manufactured
it doesn't matter as it
this creativity
this faux feeling of invulnerability this exuberance this need to pick up the brush to slide the pen between my fingers to grab scissors and white pasty glue and colored construction paper and poster board and old magazines and photos of worlds past and even of worlds to come
to become the edward fucking van gogh scissorhands of this new century
having just cut off my own fucking ear
and yet i’m still a simple schmuck that just can't seem to burrow up through this depression this heavy blanket of loneliness this desperation this edge of the ledge this plastic bag over the head
one breath at a time one at a time
there are precious few remaining
and still unable to get to the other side still not enough time never enough time a bog so mucky and thick and sucky and slick and my shoes get stuck with a schlurp schlurp and a burp such a trudge to budge only inches at a time
a dog paddle against a chilly current and i just never seem to get there
all the while wondering
where she is
that doubt
that questioning
it isn't here
why am i denied her breath her breathing her rhythm
fuck my body
then fuck my heart
with a simple morning smooch
a ta ta la de da and
a promise to see me later in the week
perhaps perhaps
later in my life
perhaps perhaps
oh god such busy lives such here there everywhere such hokey fucking pokey put your left foot in take your left foot out put your left foot in and you shake that bitch all about
god is looking down from his perch up on high his oh so fucking superior perch his crag his cranny up above us all he is watching me but i don’t care i don’t fucking care
god is watching me but i don’t care
shoo fly
pudding pie
make ‘em cry
i don’t care just get me high
get me high
take me higher
fuck yeah
spin me around
spinning wheels take me to town
bring me home
leave me alone
close my eyes
oh shoo fly i ain’t shy i ain’t afraid to fly take me into orbit let me hook my fingers into your belt loops
got it
got it
got it
tight
take off let’s take off
to the moon
to the moon with you alice to the moon maybe more maybe beyond through the clouds above the clouds touch the sun grab the lightening bolt from old zeus himself tame the flame
i burn for you
let’s talk fire let’s talk of flames inside outside flames oh flames no flames lick ‘em click ‘em flick ‘em walking through the fiery blazes of hell itself
fuck you oprah and your little fire walking with celebrity gurus you're the biggest fucking pollyanna pussy foot i ever did see
let me talk fire let me talk hot let me talk cock hard steel rod hard glistening porn movie hard ron jeremy monster hard takes two hands to handle a whopper hard
fuck yeah
let’s talk of fire
god is watching but i don’t care
i don’t fucking care the clock tick fucking tock it does tick it do tock the second hand it sweeps it races it runs it does yes it does it hums round and round and around
fuck fuck fuck
the heart my heart my broken heart it races as it bleeds my head my spinning head it races these thoughts these theologically lucid thoughts they sweep they run they race my eyes my baby browns they sweep they run they race they blink they blitz they stare they look away they stare they look away
goddamn these nostrils they flare the love it burns like gonna-fucking-rea
but still this love it burns for you
i can count the bricks in the wall count the cracks in the ceiling count the cracks in my face count the specks of dust dancing in the moonlight bursting through the open window count the fleeting moments
one two three
the hairs on my arm stand tall the hairs on the back of my neck stand tall my fucking pubic hairs they stand tall
body electric
mind electric
stun gun baby
tell me tell me tell me no don’t tell me
just lie to me
speak to me with forked tongue signal right go left cut a fucking donut three sixty seven twenty fourteen forty twenty eight eighty fuck me with a frenzy until i’m numb to it all
tell me tell me tell me no don’t tell me i don’t want to know i just need to go i don’t care i just need to know
to stare into the fire
mesmerized
see no evil hear no evil speak no evil
there is no such thing as pain
reach out reach into the flames lap at the flesh let’s blow it up let’s blow it out let’s catch it let’s catch it let’s wake up and piss the world is on fire and we can’t do a thing about it
goddamn goddamn wake up and piss the world is on fire rip off your panties boil some water make me some tea bend you over the desk fuck you with the frenzy reserved for those special moons full moons dangerous moons oh
lawdy lawdy
oh
run run run
we gotta get out of here
run run run
we gotta escape from the burning building nero play your fiddle rome is on fire and no one cares
step on a crack break your mother’s back i don’t care my momma’s dead i don’t care my daddy’s dead i think that there are parts of my soul dead and buried
and god is watching and i don’t care
resurrect me redefine me right is left wrong is right the dick is limp loose is tight god ain’t watching tonight
traffic lights go red
go red
go red
i don’t care four hundred twenty seven cubic inches of fire breathing sword in the stone sword in the heart hari kari the belly spill the guts until death do us part
supuku for your love
slice dice mince meat i hate meeses to pieces let us pray
oh goddess take this bloody heart catch it on fire four and twenty black birds screaming four twenty seven vroom vroom screech gimme a tank of white gas fuck these traffic lights hurts my motor to go so slow look left look right i could fuck you all night write a verse write a song i could fuck you all life long
but when
but when
but when
does it all end
a dick in the hand is worth two in the bush
but when
but when
but when
does it all end
my daddy
he’s seen the end
my momma
she’s seen the end
my world
my world
please please
redefine my world
put up the walls break down the walls press the plunger let’s blow this fucker down let’s blow this fucker to the ground back to the stone age baby i’ll grab you by the hair drag you into my cave drag you down the highway kicking and screaming
where am i
burning in cairo
burning in beijing
burning in kingstown
burning in bombay
burning burning
burn baby burn
the smell of singed hair the malodorous aroma of kiln fired skin blackened honky party and play got nothing on me let’s burn this fucker to the ground i will write your love into my book i will carve my name onto the back of your throat with my cock i will write your love into my book i will burn the book i will fill ‘er up check the oil check the water check the air in the tires don’t put up no stop signs baby i ain’t got no time there ain’t no roses there ain’t no rhyme i ain’t got no rhythm i ain’t got no music all i got all i got is a pack of matches and a gallon of gasoline it's all i can do to make the scene my money it ain’t dirty my money it ain’t clean but baby but baby my money it do be green
god is watching and i don’t care
delilah she say to samson she say cut off all your hair
pack of matches
fire it up
fire it up
snap crackle pop
shizzle zizzle sizzle
i’m screaming
no such thing as pain
baby
i’m screaming
out of control
pack of matches
fire it up
fire it up
four twenty seven gots to get down the road fill ‘er up drill ‘er down ratchet shifter redneck ride bubba tee you can’t hide when i’m sad i slide
when i’m sad i slide
donnez-moi une autre demitasse due petite café s’il vous plait
yeah
shoo fly
shoo fucking fly
shoo these fucking plans these visions of the future where is the now where is the here such plans such silly little plans are so tomorrow
shoo fucking fly
such plans assume there’s a way to the other side that there is more than a flimsy rope bridge over this chasm between love and belief between loneliness and captivity
one side holds such firm belief that the bridge will weather the storm weather the years we’ll traipse back and forth it’s sturdy it’s strong it don’t swing in the wind
one side tsk tsk looking at the frayed hemp rope that is my isolation that is my desperation that
yes
may indeed be fueled by these maddening additives they put in coffee these days may indeed be fueled by the prescription drugs anti-depressant anti-histamine anti-diluvia anti-christ
antidisestablishmentarianism
let me sing these prednisone blues
such a nasty drug these thoughts this faux adrenalin that deny me the escape of sleep that soma path to a temporary purge of you the purge of questions the riddance of why
that right now
it just bounces bing bang bong ricochet rabbit about my brain like some super ball spiked with psilocybin kerosene red pepper and cunt juice
a threatening match stick poised ready on the black strip running the length of my emotion
goddamn goddamn
tick fucking tock
long breath drawn between pursed lips puckered lips slow deliberate controlled
one two three
one two three
one two three
one two
one
tick fucking tock
it's two fucking thirty in the morning
god is watching and i don’t care she craved my craziness she savored my insanity infatuated with my impatience
the wind it tears up the hill through the alley and up the walls and screams for me to open wider the window and scream back to scream back at the very god that is watching me scream back that he has trapped me in this lonely room
god is watching and i don’t fucking care and all that
No comments:
Post a Comment